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12 Tips For Divorcing Parents
March 1st, 2011
- Don’t talk negatively about your former spouse in the presence of your child. Children love their parents equally and it is usually parents who destroy that balance.
- Don’t ask your child to spy on your former spouse and then convey this information back to you. Let your child enjoy the time and relationship he/she has with your former spouse.
- Don’t discourage your child’s communication with your former spouse. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Children need both parents.
- Don’t ask your children to take sides in your disagreements. Let your children be children. The less the children are involved in your battles, the better it will be for their self-esteem.
- Don’t ask your child whom he/she loves more or prefers to spend time with – you or your former spouse. Children love and need both parents equally.
- Minimize the stress in your child’s life by predicting unpleasant situations and handling them in a friendly manner.
- Assure your children that it is not their fault that you are getting divorced. Many children feel that they are to blame for their parent’s problems.
- During your divorce remember that it is your child’s interests, and not yours, that should be paramount. You are better equipped to handle your problems than your children are.
- If you have a substance addiction problem, get counseling right away. Otherwise it can destroy your future relationship with your children and break their trust.
- If you have been ordered to pay child support do not be late with your payments. Divorce minimizes financial resources available to your child and this money is going to support your child. Your child will be the one who will be hurting by insufficient payments.
- If you are the parent who is receiving the support payments, do not tell your children if you are not receiving the support. The child might feel he/she has been abandoned and stop trusting the other parent.
- Treat your child’s daily activities such as school, extracurricular activities and play time with friends as a regular routine, as it was before the divorce.
